Sunday Comics - Demetri Martin

February 24, 2008

I absolutely love things that make me laugh. It really doesn’t matter what the situation is. I thought I would do a weekly “Sunday Comics” with a twist. I am going to profile one Comedian each Sunday. I will include quotes from that weeks comedian.

The first comedian I am profiling is Demetri Martin. I enjoy his comedy because he is so intelligent. He turns everything into puzzles, palindromes and every other intelligent thing you could possible think of. He started Law School at NYU, but dropped out because he was so bored with it. Instead, he started doing stand up comedy at a club across from NYU’s campus. His career exploded…like when the American’s Dropped the Bomb on Hiroshima. Here is why he is so absolutely hilarious…His Jokes…His Quotes…His Stand-up Comedy Specials.

• “I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you’re really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, you’re saying: ‘Hope I don’t get chased today.’ ‘Be nice to people in sneakers.’”
• “I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.’”
• “One of my friends has a stutter and a lot of people think that’s a bad thing, but to me that’s just like starting certain words with a drum roll. That’s not an impediment, that’s suspense! What’s he going to say? Car?? …or Carnival?? …Carburetor!?!? Man…
• “The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.”
• “I went into a deli and got an egg sandwich and a hot chocolate. And then I went outside and I had to get a cab, so I had to put up one of my hands. But I already started eating my sandwich; I took it out of the bag, I was impatient. So my choice was hold up an egg sandwich or hold up a hot chocolate to get a car. So I chose the hot chocolate. And I put it up there and no cab stopped and I realized it was because I looked like I was toasting traffic. Standing on the street, ‘Here’s to you guys, to everybody heading west, I just wanna say I like what you do… but one of you needs to stop, pick me up.’”
• birthday, but I put quotes around the word “Happy”… sarcastic birthday, douchebag.
• I love women, but I feel like you can’t trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog’s name. Then Í said, “Does he bite?”. She said “No.” And I said, “Oh yeah? Then how does he eat? … Liar.”
• My friend had a burrito. The next day he said, “That burrito did not agree with me.” I was like, “Was the disagreement over whether or not you’d have diarrhea? Let me guess who won.” “I tried to reason with it, I insisted, you know. I was like, ‘I wanna go outside, I like these pants, but the burrito had his way.’”

If you are interested in watching any of Demetri Martin’s Stand-up, there is: Person and If I. If you don’t want to go out at buy these, you can watch him on www.youtube.com. Enjoy Demetri!

Posted in Sunday Comics